This week has been a blur. A blur of practicing, performing, teaching, finding an empty fridge and making last-minute grocery runs, driving kids to and from classes, orchestra performance, small groups, Bible study fellowship, counselling, yet more funeral home arrangements, doctor and dentist appointments. I have had sleepless nights from my physical pain and puffy […]
via On my own — SO JOYFUL
I understand very well, what she is going through and describing. For me also it will be the first Christmas without my wife in 18 years. I ponder “what to do on Christmas day?”. Then, “and what about New Year’s Eve?”. Then I stop and think about one of my sisters, who will be celebrating a holiday season for about 18 years sans spouse – during which she worked and raised her two children alone. I think of the times she’d break down crying as she shared her despair she’d be going through at those times, the loneliness, as well as the questioning to GOD. This is the second time I’m going thru this as before marrying the wonderful lady who passed into His presence in September, I’d spent 5 years raising two kids of my own, as a single father, working 12 hr shifts at a major steel company. My free time was spent at home with the kids but occasionally a friend would take us all out with him for the day onto Lake Erie in his boat, and we’d fish and swim. I was an early (1992) adopter of the internet (how many readers remember Netscape? Mosaic?). I learned some command line unix/ linux for use on IRC, I mastered first DOS, then Windows 3.1, then Windows 3.11 for workgroups, then Windows 95, 98, Millenium, XP, Vista briefly, Windows 7, 8, 8.1 and 10. I taught the kids quite a bit about using the net, computers and software. I met my late wife on IRC – as a single parent confined mainly to home when not working, it provided an outlet where I could chat with people from all over the world, on any one of 3 nets – Efnet, Dalnet, and GalasyNet – each containing thousands of chat rooms. She was living up in the Rockies on Canada’s west coast and I was living near Toronto. We “gelled” almost immediately, and eventually she came to visit for an IRC gtg (get together) in Niagara Falls – people we chatted with online, came from many states, and Canadian provinces for a vacation to be together and socialise , to meet those they knew fairly well from hours of online chats. I proposed to her in Niagara Falls (even getting down on one knee LOL – I told her (truly) that I hadn’t done it for anyone else – not even my first wife. We got married a couple months later in BC and she sold her house, packed up her kids, and dog, and moved back east to live with me and my kids, It was a challenge integrating two families to say the least, but thanks in a large way to her, and her dedication, we managed after several years to overcome the hurdles.
So, like Cibby, there are many fond memories, that tend to flood oneself, at times like holiday seasons, much happier times than the present. It’s hard to believe almost, that it was a year ago we took in a family who were homeless about a year ago. They had familial and legal issues, to deal with, and due to the husband being in jail, had been unable to keep afloat financially, thus evicted. I think back to how much Bernadette (Bernie as she preferred to be called) my late wife, helped / taught that mother about child rearing (needed because no example or teaching had been imparted before), about structure, order, setting up a stable routine, etc. When they were able to get back on their feet again so to speak, they stayed in contact and almost continually thanked us for all we’d done. Bernie said to me, “It was what GOD wanted us to do thus we stepped in and helped when needed “- as did our one daughter next door, though it posed financial challenges for both us and our daughter & her family. The strange thing about it all, is that daughter has never made a public commitment to Jesus and His way, yet it was she who spoke to Bernie (who’d been listening to the LORD prompting her as well) and suggested that we help.
So as Cibby says in her article, it’s an ongoing adjustment, with many ups and downs, but without being able to rely on Jesus, and on the Father’s love, without being able to seek help from the Holy Spirit, I can only think that as difficult as things are, they’d be a lot more difficult and despairing.